


Note-to-Self

by Maraculate



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: A bunch of references, Alternate Universe - No Squip, Artist!Jeremy, Comedy, Fluff, Jeremy Heere Is An Anxious Twink, M/M, Memes, Michael Mell Is A Cool Dude, Pining, Slice of Life, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 05:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraculate/pseuds/Maraculate
Summary: "Hey, uh, you took my notebook and I wanted it back so you wouldn't see the doodles of you that I drew."





	Note-to-Self

**Author's Note:**

> Alternatively titled: Fuck fuck FUCK

Did any of you ever get that feeling you were being watched? No?

 

Well, it’s probably due to how ugly you are. Nobody was ever going to watch you because your rash-filled, gross, and stupid face was UG-LY.

 

That was the exact mindset Jeremy had as he tuned out his English teacher. He was a worthless hack anyway who yelled more than he taught.

 

But if Michael Mell, the new student, was a radio station, then _that_  was where Jeremy would be tuned to.

 

The desk situation was so lucky for Jeremy. He was close enough to the back of the class that he could be hidden from his teacher’s Basilisk-like gaze and Michael was only two seats left and one seat up away from him, so making heart eyes at him was very simple.

 

It was just the beginning of their senior year, and this Filipino boy had just moved in. And, of course, everyone was intrigued.

 

He wore this adorable red hoodie with a few patches on them. One was of the gay flag which Jeremy could respect because he would never adopt the confidence to pin that on one of his clothes. It wasn’t exactly a secret that he was bi, but it wasn’t something he flaunted, either.

 

But Michael couldn’t care less. He worked diligently on the task in front of him and was constantly erasing and writing. Jeremy remembered to finish up his assignment in his notebook and wrote a few more things, too. The clock ticked, pencils scratched, notes were exchanged, whispers were made, and a few threats, credit to Mr. P, were sent out.

 

His glances were more than occasional, even while writing. Jeremy wondered if Michael secretly self-deprecated himself like he did. That would just be a crime against humanity because he was hotter than V from ‘V for Vendetta’ (if you knew what he meant). But then Jeremy perished the thoughts for two reasons.

 

One, because it was just a weird thing to think.

 

Two, because Michael had boundless social confidence that drew in people like ducks to bread. If he had a bad opinion of himself, Jeremy could list off about ninety reasons why that wasn’t true-wow, he really had a problem.

 

The bell rang, a more cacophonous sound that hurt more than his clock, and Jeremy found his eyes shifting in Michael’s general direction. Again. He saw him pack his things into his bag, and he swiveled his head around to look behind him, but his gaze didn’t stop on Jeremy, surprisingly.

 

Was he just that unnoticeable that cooler kids couldn’t even see when he’s staring at them? That was both a relief and just… sad.

 

Jeremy shared five of eight classes with Michael, and they had their study hall next. As Jeremy trailed behind him (oh, God, he had those awesome headphones on. Jeremy wondered if he only listened to Marley and P!ATD), Michael randomly stopped in the middle of the hallway.

 

“My notebook!” He facepalmed. Michael turned and sped back towards the classroom, knocking into Jeremy in the process.

 

“Sorry, Jeremy!” He apologized before running off again.

 

“It’s… okay?” Jeremy tapped his fingers against his leg. Dear, God, why did he like it when Michael said his name? How fucking sad is that? Holy shit, Lord, if thou art real, please striketh Jeremy down.

 

No such blessing came, and Jeremy sighed. Michael ran past Jeremy again as he slipped into Study Hall.

 

But just as Jeremy was about to reach the door, he realized that he forgot his notebook, too.

 

With less speed than Michael, he returned to the class and grabbed the blue notebook. He was a bit confused, though.

 

Since when did he sit in the middle of the classroom?

 

Jeremy looked at the cover and promptly let out an audible gasp.

 

It read ‘Michael Mell’ on the cover.

 

Jeremy turned in every direction possible and saw no one was around. He skimmed through Michael’s notebook and thoroughly enjoyed… everything. His calligraphy was excellent and he wrote fantastic journal prompts. That was it, though. No embarrassing doodles like Jeremy dre-

  


Michael had his book.

 

...

 

A problem has been detected and Jeremy.exe has been shut down to prevent damage to your fanfiction.

 

The problem seems to be caused by the following file: MICHAEL_HAS_HIS_NOTEBOOK.SYS

 

PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA

 

If this is the first time you’ve seen this Stop Error screen, restart your fanfiction. If this screen appears again, follow these steps:

 

Click the bookmark button, then hit create. Hit the kudos button, too. Finally, click on the space that says ‘Comment as YourUsername’ and write something nice to the author.

 

Honestly, Jeremy was embarrassed that he didn’t realize it sooner. Sometimes, Jeremy would draw Michael in his book. He never drew anything like Mr. Jeremy Mell or anything like that, but his obsession would reveal his big bisexual crush. At least the drawings weren’t… awful? At least, according to Christine.

 

But that wasn’t even the worst part. No, the doodles were the appetizer. Jeremy thought back to the soul-crushingly embarrassing things he _wrote_ about.

 

‘Today, Michael was wearing a blue hoodie. It scared me a bit because since when did he wear anything besides the red hoodie? A few people with more social confidence than I had asked him about it, and he said his old hoodie smelled like weed and seven-eleven. They laughed, and so did Michael, but I could tell he wasn’t joking. That made me laugh, too.’

 

‘Oh, dear God, Michael touched my hand. My brain shut down for 0.2 seconds because my crush on him is actually creepy and, God, why am I writing about this? I like him too much.’

 

‘Michael and I got assigned to be partners. I thought my stuttering would be okay. I was wrong. I could barely get out a few sentences and Michael asked if I had to go to the nurse a few times. I told him that I was always anxious, and he chuckled, but I could tell that he found it weird. God, I need to chill out. He’s gorgeous and his style and taste in music and his knowledge of video games doesn’t help.’

 

‘I fell in front of Michael. Like, full on face-planted. I don’t know if anyone finds clumsiness cute, but if they do, they must be a psychopath. Wait, does that mean I want Michael to be insane? Either way, he helped me up and I was ready to throw myself out the window.’

 

‘Killing Heather would be like offing the wicked witch of the west… wait, east. West! God, I sound like a psychopath!’

 

Okay, that last one was justified because Christine got him into Heathers, but the other shit was so weird!

 

Jeremy opened the door and saw Michael with a blue notebook open. His headphones were off, and that sent alarms into Jeremy’s brain. Michael always listened to music whether he was doing work, reading, playing games, anything. It was a stupid thing to get hung up on, but it short circuited Jeremy more than rain did to Jenny from ‘My life as a teenage robot’.

 

If there was one thing Jeremy was thankful for, it was that his teacher only looked at the journal prompts that Jeremy marked off. Needless to say that none of the Michael-centric ones got marked.

 

But Michael was speed-reading through the entire thing and he just _closed it_. He then looked up and Jeremy immediately stepped out of the media center.

 

If Jeremy was a part of John Mulaney’s stories, he would be in ‘The One Thing You Can’t Replace’. He would be a drunk toddler and Michael would be the policeman. He locked himself in the bathroom stall and gripped onto Michael’s notebook as tightly as possible.

 

His breathing got labored, and his toes curled in and out, in and out, in and out and God, his head’s poundings couldn’t get any worse.

 

Another stupid detail that Jeremy got hung up on was that Michael’s notebook revealed no signs that he cared about Jeremy, let alone liked him back. Well, saying that he didn’t care just because he didn’t write about him was a bit harsh, but Jeremy was exercising his ‘write’ to be dramatic since Michael knew about his big bi crush. His mortifying, frighteningly descriptive crush.

 

Someone stepped into the bathroom and Jeremy clamped his mouth shut. The footsteps bounced across the walls and scared the ever-lasting shit out of Jeremy. Confronting his problems seemed like an awful idea compared to running away from them.

 

“Shit...” Michael’s voice rang out. Jeremy could feel his heart race. He was sure his sweaty palms got stains all over his notebook. Just another thing to eventually apologize for. Michael was knocking on every stall and Jeremy was in the second-to-last one. He couldn’t ‘Witness’ his way out of that one.

 

So what did he do? He chucked the notebook overhead and heard it _THWAP_ against Michael’s head. He winced and facepalmed.

 

“Ow! Jeremy?” Michael shouted. Well, that was never going to get Michael to like him. Might as well go on the chopping block.

 

“P-Please go away! Leave my n-notebook… somewhere, I dunno!” Hey, his stuttering was better than usual, at least! Maybe it was because he wasn’t directly looking at Michael.

 

“Your notebook-”

 

“Is creepy. And disgusting. And weird. And a bit stalkerish,” Jeremy answered.

 

“Really? Because I was flattered,” Michael chuckled.

 

“What?” Jeremy’s mind fizzled out, smoked, and then exploded in, like, two seconds.

 

“I think you’re cute.”

 

“What?” Jeremy’s tone couldn’t get more blank.

 

“Uh, you okay?”

 

“N-No.”

 

“Unlock the stall?”

 

Jeremy wasn’t sure his brain and body were working in sync anymore. He didn’t realize when he opened the door and looked at Michael’s half-grinning face, two notebooks in hand. Was this just a prank?

 

“I’m s-sorry,” Jeremy couldn’t even look at his face anymore. “I’m so weird and creepy and if you’re just being nice by saying that I’m cute, thank you, but I kinda need to hermit myself like Futaba for the rest of my life,” he rambled on.

 

“Hey, don’t say that. Who wants a Lovecraft book as their persona, anyway? Wait, that sounds cool, actually,” Michael muttered. “Anyway, I really think you’re cute.”

 

“How? You’re so cool-”

 

“I know what you think of me. Your handwriting is neat and you’re funny. So, that’s why I wanted to ask you out on a date.”

 

“This isn’t a dream, right? Because normal people would take screenshots of my notebook and post them on social media,” Jeremy blinked rapidly.

 

“I’m not a jackass!” Michael huffed. Dear, God, his pouty face made him cuter and Jeremy ~~was mentally collapsing~~ was still in shock.

 

“You… _like_ those drawing? And creepy prompts?” Jeremy peeled off his cuticle as he made sure. It stung like a bitchy wasp.

 

“They’re not creepy!” Michael insisted. “Look, I don’t want to cause you brain damage, but I think this answers most of your questions.” He tilted up Jeremy’s face and Jeremy shivered at the touch. His hands were cool on his heated face.

 

“Wha-wha-what?” Jeremy asked again. Michael slowly pressed his lips onto Jeremy’s and he found himself kissing back despite the error messages going off in his head. His brain went on full shutdown mode and he was basically a vegetable at that point.

 

When Michael pulled away. Jeremy’s knees buckled and Michael quickly helped him stay up by clenching his armpits.

 

“Oh, God, my armpits are gross!” Jeremy snapped back to consciousness as he nearly slipped. Michael snorted as he helped Jeremy stand up like a normal person.

 

“You’re fine, Jeremy. You’re a good kisser.” Michael winked at him and Jeremy nearly melted into a puddle. Why did literally everything that Michael did send him into Maximum Overdrive ~~not even in the good way~~? How much of a typical anxious twink™ could he be?

 

“Could you leave me here to die, please?” Jeremy asked.

 

“Aw, Jeremy,” Michael sighed. “I’m sorry for reading your book, by the way. That was an invasion of privacy.”

 

He took a deep breath. This time, he was going to have the cool one-liner. Sure, it was stolen from a fanfiction, but his current situation seemed to be born out of a thirteen year old girl’s tumblr and deviantart mind, anyway. Anything was possible if Michael was serious.

 

“You can apologize by paying for our d-date.” Well, the stutter was a bit hard to notice, but at least Jeremy walked out without looking like a try-hard or an idiot.

 

Michael’s lips turned upwards after a while as he followed up with a fit of chuckles. Jeremy was very… intriguing, to say the least. He looked forward to getting to know him better. That sudden burst of confidence was especially surprising, and cute, too.

 

Meanwhile...

 

“O-M-G CHRIS ANSWER ME WOAH WAIT UNTIL I TELL YOU WHAT I DID!” Jeremy screeched into his phone as he paced behind the school.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry


End file.
